One Must Imagine Our Driver Happy
No load too heavy, no hill too steep. Sisyphus operates a single dedicated route, forever.
Fig. 1 — routine ascent, in progress since antiquity.
0
DELIVERIES COMPLETED
1
DELIVERIES IN PROGRESS
Eventually
ON-TIME RATE
∞
DAYS SINCE LAST SUMMIT
Services
Uphill Freight
SERVICE CODE: UF-01
Point-to-point carriage from the base to very nearly the top. Our core competency.
Deadhead Returns
SERVICE CODE: DR-00
Every ascent concludes with a complimentary, fully unassisted return to origin. The paperwork also returns to origin.
OUR SPECIALTYBoulder Certification
SERVICE CODE: BC-27
Form 27B/6 filed on your behalf. All boulders certified round, heavy, and yours. Certificates are valid forever, which is also our billing cycle.
White-Glove Rock Handling
SERVICE CODE: WG-04
Bare-handed, actually. Gloves interfere with the relationship.
Eternal Contracts
SERVICE CODE: EC-01
One term, no renewal required. Cancellation policy: see terms. Terms: none. Our longest-running client relationship is our only client relationship.
What our clients say
★☆☆☆☆
We designed this as a punishment. He seems... happy? Deeply unsettling.— THE GODS, MOUNT OLYMPUS
★★★★★
One must imagine...— A. CAMUS, ALGIERS